thecopycat

Keeping The Peace

A relationship’s a tough job to keep. But there are a number of ways to keep both sides content and out of trouble. Here’s a guy’s perspective on what you can do.

Valentine’s Day is already a couple of weeks old, and I’m sure the love-haze has gone out the window. Keeping a relationship out of troubled waters is hard work, for both sides. Now admittedly, us guys, we do stupid things. But we learn, eventually, that a well-timed bouquet or an ‘any-timed’ box of chocolates can do wonders for your opinion of us.

An intelligent man will try his level best to not err in the first place, and so would an intelligent woman. Who needs damage control when there’s no damage, right? There are probably a lot of ways you could avoid the trouble that goes into arguments that stem from needless, insignificant sparks, and grow from the mere trifling to the more damaging kind.

Here are a few pointers that will, hopefully, help you avoid those unnecessary tiffs and, in the most clichéd of ways, give you more than just the one Valentine’s Day every year.

You’re not always right, he’s not always wrong
This is probably one of the staples of every relationship. Talk to a bunch of couples, and you’ll hear him talk about how she thinks she’s always right, and her talk about how he’s always wrong. And I’ll grant you this much: we’re usually wrong. But keep an open mind. Every now and then, we do get it right. And we’d like to win arguments some of the time—especially when we’re on the right side.

Focus on the big stuff
As much as those little errors of our ways might irk or peeve you, look at the bigger picture. Is it really that big a deal? If it isn’t, consider letting it slide. We’re perfectly okay with thrashing it out about the bigger stuff, but we’re not built to notice those tiny things like you are.

You’ve got your feelings, he’s got his ego
A good friend of mine once told me that both sexes have something that’s easily bruised. Women have their feelings and men have their egos. Tread with caution when around either. Bruise a woman’s feelings and she’s likely to hurt. Similarly with a man’s ego, it’s what sustains him in this dog-eat-dog world we live in. So women, important lesson in keeping the peace: a man’s ego is a risky thing to hit at.

Lose the subtlety
If you’re trying to write a murder mystery, subtlety is good. If you’re trying to tell a man what you want, leave the subtlety out. Traditionally, we have never done well with hints, so, oxymoronic as it may be, the direct hint is the way to go.*

When all else fails, there are some tried and tested cures. I’d suggest one of two things. Either you focus his attention on a third party the both of you share hatred for—a good example is any cricket team other than ours—or just show him some love. Works every time.

*See what I did there? I said the same thing twice, in two direct ways. We respond well to that.