thecopycat

One year.

Okay. So I don’t know why I’m back here. Yet. I remember someone telling me the whole blog thing was just about when you (read: I) had something to complain about. So I stopped. Now I’m here again, and already thinking of something to complain about.

So here goes: Life’s shaping up.

Oddly enough, I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t work my ass off to get here. I just woke up one morning, and there it was, staring me in the face. Life. Some semblance of a future. Something to move towards.

Now, I just need to work on growing up.

Childish, not child-like

Raj Thackeray is in my office right now. I don’t get him. Really. Well, that’s not totally true, I think I get him, but I don’t think he’s any good for us Maharashtrians—-not that he’d consider me one, I’m neither “Marathi” nor do I speak the language. I’ve just been living here all my life—-as has my father, and his father. If he thinks that by speaking only Marathi when he’s on an English news channel he appears really committed to his cause, then he’s supremely mistaken.

I can see a number of idiots who’d be impressed by this, but chances are that most people watching the TV channel are wondering why a guy who can speak perfectly decent English is talking in Marathi on an English news channel, that’s largely watched by English speaking folk.

Maybe he DOESN’T want us to know what he’s saying. Because what he’s saying doesn’t make sense anyway. Or maybe he’s missing the point. Because if he’d try and speak to us in English on an English news channel, in Hindi on a Hindi news channel and in Marathi on a Marathi one, we’d all get his point, no?

Will someone ask him if he might mind walking around with a translator at least?

Keeping The Peace

A relationship’s a tough job to keep. But there are a number of ways to keep both sides content and out of trouble. Here’s a guy’s perspective on what you can do.

Valentine’s Day is already a couple of weeks old, and I’m sure the love-haze has gone out the window. Keeping a relationship out of troubled waters is hard work, for both sides. Now admittedly, us guys, we do stupid things. But we learn, eventually, that a well-timed bouquet or an ‘any-timed’ box of chocolates can do wonders for your opinion of us.

An intelligent man will try his level best to not err in the first place, and so would an intelligent woman. Who needs damage control when there’s no damage, right? There are probably a lot of ways you could avoid the trouble that goes into arguments that stem from needless, insignificant sparks, and grow from the mere trifling to the more damaging kind.

Here are a few pointers that will, hopefully, help you avoid those unnecessary tiffs and, in the most clichéd of ways, give you more than just the one Valentine’s Day every year.

You’re not always right, he’s not always wrong
This is probably one of the staples of every relationship. Talk to a bunch of couples, and you’ll hear him talk about how she thinks she’s always right, and her talk about how he’s always wrong. And I’ll grant you this much: we’re usually wrong. But keep an open mind. Every now and then, we do get it right. And we’d like to win arguments some of the time—especially when we’re on the right side.

Focus on the big stuff
As much as those little errors of our ways might irk or peeve you, look at the bigger picture. Is it really that big a deal? If it isn’t, consider letting it slide. We’re perfectly okay with thrashing it out about the bigger stuff, but we’re not built to notice those tiny things like you are.

You’ve got your feelings, he’s got his ego
A good friend of mine once told me that both sexes have something that’s easily bruised. Women have their feelings and men have their egos. Tread with caution when around either. Bruise a woman’s feelings and she’s likely to hurt. Similarly with a man’s ego, it’s what sustains him in this dog-eat-dog world we live in. So women, important lesson in keeping the peace: a man’s ego is a risky thing to hit at.

Lose the subtlety
If you’re trying to write a murder mystery, subtlety is good. If you’re trying to tell a man what you want, leave the subtlety out. Traditionally, we have never done well with hints, so, oxymoronic as it may be, the direct hint is the way to go.*

When all else fails, there are some tried and tested cures. I’d suggest one of two things. Either you focus his attention on a third party the both of you share hatred for—a good example is any cricket team other than ours—or just show him some love. Works every time.

*See what I did there? I said the same thing twice, in two direct ways. We respond well to that.

Love Is Green

You cannot love, truly, without being plagued by jealousy at some point in your relationship. It’s one of those things that come with the territory, albeit in varying degrees.  What is it about jealousy that has us played from the start?

Jealousy and envy are often used as synonyms but they’re very different feelings. Jealousy stems from the fear of losing something you already have, while envy stems from the desire of something you don’t have. But it’s more than that: envy dies after the infatuation or desire dies, jealousy sticks around long after the relationship’s done with. Reason?

Jealousy is a passion. There are no two ways about it. Not only is it etymologically linked to ‘zeal’, but it is characterised by it too. Jealous lovers are nothing if not overzealous defenders of their devotion. But not all jealous lovers find the need to go completely bat-crazy with their jealousy. So, the effects of jealousy can range anywhere from a few heated arguments to the complete dismantling of a relationship.

Truth be told, jealousy can completely undermine the trust that two people have in a relationship. Regardless of how misplaced that distrust might be, jealousy can bring it to the forefront of any argument. Still, have you ever tried explaining to a jealous lover how completely illogical it is to distrust their partner just because of a few flirty exchanges with an office colleague? It’s almost impossible. But then, we’re part of a generation brought up on the sensational immorality of day-time television. We’ve seen too much to leave the slightest doubt out of our minds.

So then, it’s no secret that the western world (read: United States of Amorality) is responsible for the current incarnation of jealousy. What was once a sign of intense passion and unequivocal love is today a curse that lovers are warned to be wary of.

We’re tormented by jealousy to the point that we question its relevance in the world. But like almost all things that we’ve been told are ‘bad’ for us, jealousy works wonders in small amounts. In fact, it’s actually a very important part of any relationship.

A love without jealousy is more like a friendship, with benefits. Throw out the jealousy you feel when you see your love in the company of handsome strangers and you’re left with a passionless relationship—not a bad or unfulfilling relationship, just a passionless one. Jealous lovers have moved mountains to prove the magnitude of their love. The more ordinary of us mightn’t have moved mountains, but don’t tell me we haven’t been inspired by jealous fits to do our fair share of special deeds.

Use your jealousy well, and you might just become a better lover. Like envy might push you to take risks you never would normally, a little bit of jealousy will help you keep that spark alive. Do something nice to let your woman/man know they’re important to you. There’s no need to be wary of jealousy, so long as you keep your mind about it.

Apple, you hypocrite.

In 1984, Apple launched an advertisement that was nothing short of revolutionary. One, for its concept of breaking the mold, and two, for the fact that it was a one time (two time?) airing. They were saying, “You know how computers can be seen as big-brother-ish and scary and anti-individualism? We’re not going to let that happen. Our computer’s going to be about the individual.”

And for a while, that’s how it was. The PC was about the big company who didn’t give a damn about the individual and forced its will upon you, and the Mac was the rebel.

But I just happened to compare the two the other day. As they are now, not as they were once. I have no idea what they were two decades ago. I’ve just seen the advertisement.

Today, you can configure your PC to your personal specifications. There are a wide range of accessories you can add or remove, to make your PC work your way. Are you a gamer? You can have a gaming intensive PC. Throw in a couple of kick-ass graphic cards, a bucketful of RAM, a quad-core processor, and you’ve got a gaming machine. Similarly, a work user might scale everything down to get something that is cheap and effective. Maybe I can’t afford that damn quad-core processor. And maybe I don’t need kick-ass graphics.

Buying a Mac? Okay, you pay the same as your gaming buddy over there. Well, not exactly the same. I’ll give you a couple of options here and there. But this is no PC, dude. You’re paying to be cool, remember?

Oh yea, and then there’s the iPod. By far, the coolest PMP on the block. But you gotta use iTunes you know. There’s no way you’re getting to put your music on your iPod without iTunes.

Buy Creative instead, and maybe you don’t own the coolest PMP on the block. But, hell, I can use Explorer to put some music on this, and that’s fine by me.

So that’s my problem with Apple. What happened to the individual? You might still consider them the rebel in the market, but with the amount of takers, I still wouldn’t say buying a Mac or an iPod’s rebellious.

They look cool, sure, but I prefer my buttoned Nokia, which hangs as often as your click-wheel iPod might, but all I gotta do is hit the red button a couple of times and I’m good to go.

Is there more than just wanting to look cool? Is there some reason behind it? Or did Apple figure out it’s more profitable to be Big Brother rather than Athletically-dressed Rebel? So they’re turning us into those people in their 1984 commercial, staring at the screen, only we’re saying “Ooh” and “Aah” instead, enamoured by the latest iPod Touch which you can surgically sew into your skin, except you’ll be plugged into iTunes all the time?

There may be hope after all…

anyhoo:

i think it’s sad that more than 1 person thinks ‘tumblarity’ is a good idea. you all should pat yourselves on the back for contributing to the intellectual deterioration of humankind. i bet you the monkeys are laughing at us now.

I got out of this whole tumblr thing for a while there. While I looked for a job. Coming back, still no job, btw, I take a look at tumblr and what do I see but tumblarity. What is this? Is this some popularity contest too? Isn’t that what other blogs and facebook and youtube and everything else online is for? Can’t there just be one thing that just…’is’? This is really pissing off.

Anyhoo (and I’m not talking to the poster, but just using the word), I refuse to be a part of this. I might’ve done it elsewhere for what little time each of those things (facebook, mog, etc) held my interest. Not here. You might not agree, Mr Tumblr, but this has to be pure for me. So there.